Healing Words

The most healing word I can think of is love/loved. Interesting fact: English uses one word to mean a multitude of things. In Spanish they have two (main) phrases to mean love. One is Te quiero which, is the general usage of love, and can be said to anyone. The other phrase is Te amo, which means deep love; this phrase is reserved for your lover, or your true love.

The reason for this entemology lesson is because I can think of two healing sentences, one in Spanish, one in English. The Spanish is: Jesús me ama. (Jesus loves me)
The English is: "You are loved, loved far more than you can ever dream or imagine."

Why is this healing?
Because, for some reason, I always think that no one loves me. Or that one would be absolutely batty to even like me. I don't know why I think this. Most likely because I have very low self esteem.... but enough of that! Being loved is something that I always thought was beyond me. But it never was. I am loved by my family and my friends. but most importantly, I am loved by God.

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." ~ Zephaniah 3:17

"God's unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the Scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doubts do not destroy God's love, nor does our faith create it. It originates in the very nature of God, who is love, and it flows to us through our union with His beloved Son." ~ Jerry Bridges

It has taken me a very long time to realize how deeply loved I am. Even now I do not know the unimaginable depth of His never ending, never failing love. The reason it took so long for me to grasp that I was loved by anyone was because I was too wrapped up in myself. What I wanted, and eventually using my trials to bemoan my fate. Funny thing about the trials God gives us though... it may seem minuscule (or even massive) compared to other people's suffering, but we were never meant to compare trials.

What do I mean by that?
Well, each person has their own internal struggles, their own life lessons, and beliefs. Each trial that we, as individuals, face is meant to do something specific for us, and where we are in life.
Let me give an example. I am extremely proud (unfortunately) and I HATE having to ask for anything. Well, for most of my life, I blocked God out because I didn't need Him and never wanted (or had) to ask for His help.

Funny thing though, no matter how perfect we assume we are, we are still broken and in sin. That's just the nature of man. Well, God used a trial to force me to be humble and seek Him. The trial forced me to do something I hated: I had to have help for just about everything. Did I mention I was stubborn?! :) It took over two years of this specific trial for me to finally pay attention to the lessons I have heard since I was born. I AM LOVED.
It took so long because I was bemoaning the fact that no one loved me, not even God. My reasoning on that? Well, if God really loved me, why would he put me through something so horrible?!

"One of the greatest evidences of God's love to those that love him is, to send them afflictions, with grace to bear them." ~ John Wesley

Never forget: He sent his only Son to die. Die for me, and for you. He carried every sin and every hurt, redeeming us through defeating death and rising in victory on the third day. It takes unimaginable depth of love to do that for the extremely unimportant, sinful mess that I see myself as.
He sees us as perfect and loves us just the same. It was a long lesson for me to learn.

Hey :)

I don't know how many of y'all know, but I have been in the hospital on and off a lot over the past few months. There has been varying reasons, but the scariest one is the inability to breathe.

Yup you read that right. Occasionally I am unable to breathe. It feels as if someone is stabbing me repeatedly in my ribs with red hot knives. Every time I take a breath, and my ribs move, excruciating pain shoots through my body. I subconsciously try to cope by breathing extremely light/not at all. The one time this happened, I passed out (this was actually today). Its kind of annoying, but the doctors think they know what is going on. they think i have something called costochondritis.

Costochondritis is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects ribs to the breastbone. The pain sometimes mimics that of a heart attack (or other heart problems).

So yes, occasionally I feel as if I am having a heart attack (which is severely scary!) but thankfully I am not. Unfortunately because of some of the symptoms I have, and how the pain is, I believe that the doctors are wrong with their diagnosis. But since I hate going to the doctors for any reason, I have not had my ribs rechecked out.

So as a summary of the past few months (medically wise) fake heart attacks, hospital visits, and refusing to see my regular physician. Hopefully I will gather the courage to go soon, but I do not know.... please pray we figure out what is going on!!



Let me leave you with the verse that gives me strength in these trials:"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." ~Isaiah 40:29-31

Stress.

What is stress? According to Miriam Webster, stress is "a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances."
Now how does stress manifest itself? According to wikipedia (i know not the best source, but hey :) )
Signs of stress may be cognitive, emotional, physical, or behavioral.


Cognitive symptoms~ Memory problems, Inability to concentrate, Poor judgment, Pessimistic approach or thoughts, Anxious or racing thoughts, Constant worrying

Emotional symptoms~ Moodiness, Irritability or short temper, Agitation, inability to relax, Feeling overwhelmed, Sense of loneliness and isolation, Depression or general unhappiness

Physical symptoms~ Aches and pains, Indigestion, Changes in blood glucose, Nausea, dizziness, Chest pain, rapid heartbeat

Behavioral symptoms~ Eating more or less, Sleeping too much or too little, Isolating oneself from others, Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities


Why am I telling y'all this? Because I am in super stress/anxiety overdrive at the moment. Yes, I am trying to fix the stressors and make the stress levels go down. But I (apparently) am not doing a good job of it. My health is all out of wack because of my stress levels, so I'm very tired, not eating enough, and throwing up randomly (ew gross I know, sorry).


Why did I list most of the signs of stress? So you can see some ideas of how the human body responds to stress, and to make your stressors stop before you get overwhelmed. I unfortunately did not pay attention to the signs, so im feeling very ill because of it. One way to help with stress is to pray, Pray, PRAY!! :)

So, please pray for me! That i will learn when to say no to responsibilities, and when to go to someone when I am getting overwhelmed by classes. I hope y'all do not get hit by these symptoms as much as I do, and I will pray for y'all that classes are going well!


As my Jewish friend says, "Shalom be with you"
(cause i dunno how to spell the rest haha :) ) And if you didn't know, Shalom means peace! :D

Chiropractors are wonderful!

Okay, so I went to see my chiropractor this morning. And I feel absolutely fantastic right now!

I asked him how many joints were dislocated/slightly out. So I had 6 (of the 7) vertebrae in my neck, both my shoulders, 4 ribs, both my wrists were slightly out, 3 or 4 vertebrae in my lower back, my hip, my patella was out, and both my ankles were out.

It was only slightly surprising how many things were out.... I was really sore, so the appointment helped me to feel so much better! (now only if I could get some sleep! haha :D ) Anyway, thats my little update for today...


"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." ~Romans 8:18

Insomnia is annoying....

...because today all i want to do is sleep! 5 days with about 2 hours (tops) sleep a night is very draining. Add on top of that working, school, and random other things, and i feel absolutely no energy. I was told yesterday by one of my fellow coworkers that they didnt like this new me, it was too depressing. So apparently I am very antisocial when i'm tired... haha :)

Anyway I finally got a pretty good bit of sleep today because we went to Reading, PA this morning and i slept the entire car ride. So now I feel very energetic (by the time i'm done with work im going to be wiped out though :( )

Oh, just as a note, my joints have been dislocating way too much lately. I mean they dislocate all the time, but they are doing it more than usual. Like I woke up yesterday, and my left arm was entirely numb. The reason? I think i dislocated my shoulder in my sleep cause it was mostly out when i tried to move my arm. And i completely dislocated my wrist when i was closing last night.... So its been a very strenuous week unfortunately. But the good news is that it will get better soon! :D

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” ~Joshua 1:9

"Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.” ~Screwtape Letters